I find myself inconsolable
My tears are barely tolerable
Though you vilipend my ways
On this of all fortuitous days
I want stomach resilience
But this is the worst experience
As a dedicated sauce dunker
A tomato sauce spelunker
Newly diagnosed celiac and lactose intolerant
On national pizza day I am improvident
While you cheerfully eat before me
My gastrointestinal fortitude will deplore me
Fortuitous (adjective)
Something that comes or happens by a lucky chance. Happening by chance. Fortunate, lucky.
Merriam-Webster
Resilience (noun)
ability of a material to return to its original shape
an occurrence of rebounding or springing back
the ability to recover readily from adversity or change
New York Times
Inconsolable (adjective)
extremely sad and not able to be comforted
Britannica
Dunker (noun)
A person who likes to dunk food, esp. one who habitually dunks biscuits or pastries in tea, coffee, milk, etc.
Oxford English Dictionary
Vilipend (verb)
to regard or treat as of little value or account
Dictionary.com
Nasher: Couplets (of any length) that feature comical rhymes, including wrenched rhymes
Used in a Poem 