Before dawn we were up, rife with small doubt
Sky harvesting stars, silence only dread
Rapscallions safe asleep 
But something was amiss, trust fled
My mind whispered all tragic potentials
Loblolly traps of all our essentials
But to all this he said
The sky is beautiful, let’s watch today come out

rife (adjective)

excessively abundant

frequent, common or widespread

The New York Times

harvest (verb)

to gather or collect (something) for use

Britannica

Rapscallion (noun)

someone who causes trouble, often in a mischievous way

Merriam-Webster

Loblolly (noun)

a mire or mudhole

dictionary.com

I have become obsessed
with blankness:

Whitewashed walls
Blinking cursers on the screen
Seeds coiled so tightly in on themselves
	you can’t tell where the sun
	and ran will crack it open
	into life
Boxes and jars waiting to be filled
Corners scrubbed clean of dirt

I catechize the lack
	There is no life
	No chance of genesis
	No growth
	In a spotless space


Ubiquitous suffering cannot spawn 
from nothingness
The human condition is endemic
to pain
	uncertainty
	doubt
	joy
	fear
	overthinking
There is no empty state
in nature
Everything is potential held

Keep me from numbness
	Meaninglessness
	The vacancy sign over my eyes
	even if they fill instead with tears

The seed needs the dirt
The human needs the muck
	of living
We just must learn
	how to breathe
	through it

Rhapsody (noun)

a state of elated bliss

the expression of excessive emotion, enthusiasm, or pleasure

an improvisational and emotional musical composition with an irregular form

an epic poem adapted for recitation

vocabulary.com

Catechize (verb)

to question closely

Dictionary.com

ubiquitous (adjective)

being or seeming to be present everywhere at once

New York Times

Endemic (adjective)

of a species : native to a particular locality or region

of a disease : persisting over time in a particular region or population

characteristic of or prevalent in a particular field, place, group, or environment

Merriam-Webster

There is no tabula rasa
No bless state
The emotion still roil inside me
But my monkey can wait

I trained myself to breathe
To take a pause
Not be washed out by the tide
To unclench my jaws

There is no cure to humanity
We all sit in fear
Each faux pas stinging
Always losing the here

But it’s worth the practice
To refind calm
Let the waves of emotion
Feel like a balm

Because feeling isn’t the enemy
It is human to feel
Even limerence has a place
Joy has appeal

I sit so I can choose
When to hold
Tight to an experience
And when to let go 

tabula rasa (noun)

the mind in its hypothetical primary blank or empty state before receiving outside impressions

something existing in its original pristine state

Merriam-Webster

faux pas (noun)

an embarrassing social blunder

Dictionary.com

limerence (noun)

a state of mind resulting from romantic attraction, characterized by feelings of euphoria, the desire to have one’s feelings reciprocated, etc

Collins

In the middle of the night yearnings come
Feeding fear, fed on besmirching remark
Pillows too hard, room cold
Awake morosely to dawn stark
The remainder of a party gone stale 
Retreading comments now edged in blackmail
No eudemonic snark
Perhaps tomorrow instead I should learn to slum

yearning (noun)

deep or anxious longing, desire, etc.

Collins

Besmirch (verb)

To cause harm or damage to the purity, luster, or beauty of (something)

Merriam-Webster

Morosely (adverb)

in a morose manner (j/k)

do something in a sullen, moody way

vocabulary.com

Remainder (noun)

the part that is left when the other people or things are gone, used, etc.

Britannica

Eudemonic (adjective)

pertaining or conducive to happiness

Dictionary.com

I find myself inconsolable
My tears are barely tolerable
Though you vilipend my ways
On this of all fortuitous days
I want stomach resilience
But this is the worst experience 
As a dedicated sauce dunker
A tomato sauce spelunker
Newly diagnosed celiac and lactose intolerant
On national pizza day I am improvident
While you cheerfully eat before me
My gastrointestinal fortitude will deplore me

Fortuitous (adjective)

Something that comes or happens by a lucky chance. Happening by chance. Fortunate, lucky.

Merriam-Webster

Resilience (noun)

ability of a material to return to its original shape

an occurrence of rebounding or springing back

the ability to recover readily from adversity or change

New York Times

Inconsolable (adjective)

extremely sad and not able to be comforted

Britannica

Dunker (noun)

A person who likes to dunk food, esp. one who habitually dunks biscuits or pastries in tea, coffee, milk, etc.

Oxford English Dictionary

Vilipend (verb)

to regard or treat as of little value or account

Dictionary.com

My mind seems adamantine
From the outside
I once seemed equanimous
Facing all stride
The future seems incontestable
I must confide
Everything seems thwarted
The truth was lied
Nothing is predefined
I often cried
But again I must rise
I will turn this tide

adamantine (adjective)

very hard; unbreakable or unyielding

having the lustre of a diamond

Collins

equanimous (adjective)

having or showing mental and emotional composure

dictionary.com

thwarted (adjective)

adjective disappointingly unsuccessful

vocabulary.com

I hate his flip-flops
That does not make me wrong
Men’s toes aren’t sexy
Nor the lies he brings along

I admit to being finicky
About most things in life
But everything he says
Is imbued with strife

My friends say to dump him
But everything with them is bosh
I don’t trust anything about him
But he keeps my life posh

flip-flop (noun)

a type of loose rubber sandal

a sudden change of opinion

Britannica

finicky (adjective)

exacting especially about details

vocabulary.com

Imbue (verb)

to permeate or influence as if by dyeing

to provide with something freely or naturally

Merriam-Webster

Bosh (noun)

empty or meaningless talk or opinions; nonsense

Collins

Known by the rich as a sartorial man
I saw only a heinous tan
More dyed than sun-kissed
I couldn’t see through to a taste ton-blessed
Etiquette demanded I bow low
But I knew he was a faux beau
What do you do as a great milabiliary
With a face with less man and more strawberry?
I squeezed my lips tight upon a boohoo
And declared him as beautiful as my emu

Sartorial (adjective)

of or relating to a tailor or tailored clothes

Merriam-Webster

Heinous (adjective)

extremely wicked or deeply criminal

New York Times

Etiquette (noun)

the rules indicating the proper and polite way to behave

Britannica

Mirabiliary (noun)

A person who deals in marvels; a collector of marvellous things.

Oxford English Dictionary

Boohoo (verb)

to weep noisily

Dictionary.com

All elbows, knees, thoughtless scowl
I never had very much grace
No god to bless my stumbles
Kind soul with an unapproachable face

At work quietly adept
At least there I knew my place
Earning some adulation
Serious, dependable, for the rat race

Corporate is precarious
Competition fierce, elbows
Out, politics quietly
The sole game that anyone powerful chose

While I performed, she was there
To claim for herself success
It’s my fault, while I worked she
Prepared for her lateral arabesque.

Grace (noun)

elegance or beauty of form, manner, motion, or action:

Also, ˈgrace ˌperiod. a period or allowance of time after a debt is technically payable, but before a penalty will be applied:

favor or goodwill, or an expression of favor, esp. by a superior.

the freely given favor and love of God, esp. when unearned.

WordReference

adept

(adjective) having or showing knowledge and skill and aptitude

(noun) someone who is dazzlingly skilled in any field

Vocabulary.com

adulation (noun)

Extreme or excessive admiration, flattery, or praise

Merriam Webster

Precarious (adjective)

not safe, strong, or steady

Britannica

Lateral (adjective)

Situated at, proceeding from, or directed to a side

Dictionary.com

Emptiness stretching before her
Covert within diaphanous pink
Strongly suggesting a woman
She feels herself shrink.

Arms open as if to grow wings
Long sleek neck covered in love bites
When did compromise ossify?
Dimmed by another’s lights.

Today is new, today is real
Everything else must fall away
Find the strength to leap to flight
But we all know she will stay.

covert

(adjective) secret or hidden

(Noun) a covering that serves to conceal or shelter something

a flock of coots, which are medium-sized water birds

The New York Times

Diaphanous (adjective)

Fabric of a texture so fine that one can see through it.

Figuratively to describe something characterized by extreme delicacy of form.

Merriam-Webster

Ossify (verb)

To become rigid in habits, attitudes, or opinions

Dictionary.com